Hhhhhhhapppy Friday!!! Well, unhappy Friday for me. We just got home from dropping off Winnie with her dad for the weekend. The usual every other weekend. Don't get me wrong.... sometimes the break is quite fabulous, but now that we have Emery we don't get the usual "we can be married and mingle" weekends anymore. We hardly ever get out. Actually, let me rephrase that. We never get out. Alone even. Ever.
Which brings me to his birthday- and why I suck at life.
Which brings me to his birthday- and why I suck at life.
So, every year I try and make the most out of his birthdays. I tell him "Happy Birthday" too many times, I try and buy him cool presents, I even reuse the same bag every year since his first birthday we shared together. Kooky? Weird? Sure. But we get a freaking kick out of it. I tell him that when he's 50 we'll be using the same bag, but it will be duct taped and pieced together before it ever gets thrown out. Traditions are traditions. That bag is part of our family.
OHANA. It means family. No one gets left behind. Not even the birthday bag.
So, in keeping up with the cool gifts I think I finally accomplished it. First, let's recap on the first 2 years:
1. I cant believe I am even going to share this one. But- I'm in a goofy mood, so why not? I know he'll kill me, but I am already on a roll.
Remember, we're all adults here.
I had no ideas. There was nothing he wanted. He wouldn't give me a hint on anything, and I was completely clueless. So, I got him a sex position book.
Whew, glad I got that off my chest. Don't judge. Keep reading.
So, how did I end up with the idea? I had gone to Barnes & Nobles to get Gwen some books and ended up in the sex aisle. Yes,that is truly how it happened. I traded Dora the Explorer and Little Golden books for the infamous "don't look at me" sex aisle.
Still, think I'm a bit too much? This is my blog... honesty is the best policy,... and.... hey, it was a fun, refreshing idea. No hotel stay, no lame movie or a new package of socks, but a book. But this wasn't just ANY book. It was hysterical. For those of you who aren't weird like me, and don't shop for that sort of thing for your S/O, Barnes & Noble is definitely not a discrete place when it comes to the Sex Ed aisle. At all. Its not like the movie rental place that has an "adult" video section behind a shabby curtain. There is the aisle... and there is you. Plain as day. So, if you're looking for a anything on sex- be prepared to be seen.
I'll admit, before even thinking of approaching the section, I surveyed the area to make sure no one was nearby. I mean... because nobody has sex. That would be too embarrassing if anyone knew. Dumb, dumb thought. So, after several minutes, I decided what an idiot I was for caring about being spotted and found the perfect book. All that silly worrying for nothing... because I definitely wasn't discrete after that.
I could NOT stop laughing. Again for you virgin sex bookers, most sex books actually have people..... yes, real people, posing in the positions. It's like a still from a porno. Tacky, wrong, and just... gross. Ummmm.... no thanks. I almost gave up and wondered what the heck I was even doing. I'm supposed to be finding a book about Barbie, or Angelina Ballerina... not Betty No-Name in the flesh doing the dirty disco. Worst parent of the year award over here, please. Yes, yes me- the one in the Sex Ed aisle.
Then I found it. The perfect one. Stick figurines and all. It wasn't raunchy but instead hilarious. It has creative names, (ex.The Chimney Sweep) it lists cautions (ex. Can be sooty) AND also lists the calories burned. All complete with a notes section. You know, for reference later? hahahaha. Good grief.
I mean come one! This thing had winner all over it. It was hysterical and not weird. It wasn't like, "hey baby," but instead a good twist to a common serious matter "between two people that love each other very much." I thought it was perfect.
So perfect..... that it has been tucked away in my bedside cabinet....... and not used. So, that gift was a humorous birthday FAIL. We'd talk about using it, browse through it, and then just die laughing because they were just so ridiculous. Guess I should have seen that coming at Barnes & Nobles, eh?
Moving on.
Present #2. A Fossil Watch
After the first failed birthday gift, I wanted to make sure I got him something meaningful and-- not sexual. I looked and thought for weeks on what I might actually want to give him. So, after much deliberation, I decided on a watch. He didn't own one and I thought it was a pretty safe gift. I mean, what guy doesn't like having a watch?
Well, apparently my husband.
"I just don't like wearing watches." Oh, so... that's why you don't already own one. Another FAIL. I think he has worn it twice.... and that's because I asked. I mean, geeze. That's like asking for a hug. Just doesn't have the same warm, fuzzy effect. 0 for 2. Go me.
and for #3. An "On the Rocks" set.
With fingers crossed and September 26th approaching, I just kept thinking, "third times the charm!" Well, I assume that I finally nailed it because he seemed pretty excited about it. This year I got him a set of Solid Granite Drink Chillers. They are rounded off granite stones that you freeze in the freezer, then add to your drink of choice (scotch, whiskey). It keeps your drink cold without diluting it with ice cubes which leads to a better, longer lasting taste. Josh loves his occasional nightcap so I thought it would be a cool, unique gift choice.
No, really. I literally googled, "cool gifts for him." Who knew google could do so much for you? haha. Hopefully next year I can say that he used it more than twice.
OHANA. It means family. No one gets left behind. Not even the birthday bag.
So, in keeping up with the cool gifts I think I finally accomplished it. First, let's recap on the first 2 years:
1. I cant believe I am even going to share this one. But- I'm in a goofy mood, so why not? I know he'll kill me, but I am already on a roll.
Remember, we're all adults here.
I had no ideas. There was nothing he wanted. He wouldn't give me a hint on anything, and I was completely clueless. So, I got him a sex position book.
Whew, glad I got that off my chest. Don't judge. Keep reading.
So, how did I end up with the idea? I had gone to Barnes & Nobles to get Gwen some books and ended up in the sex aisle. Yes,that is truly how it happened. I traded Dora the Explorer and Little Golden books for the infamous "don't look at me" sex aisle.
Still, think I'm a bit too much? This is my blog... honesty is the best policy,... and.... hey, it was a fun, refreshing idea. No hotel stay, no lame movie or a new package of socks, but a book. But this wasn't just ANY book. It was hysterical. For those of you who aren't weird like me, and don't shop for that sort of thing for your S/O, Barnes & Noble is definitely not a discrete place when it comes to the Sex Ed aisle. At all. Its not like the movie rental place that has an "adult" video section behind a shabby curtain. There is the aisle... and there is you. Plain as day. So, if you're looking for a anything on sex- be prepared to be seen.
I'll admit, before even thinking of approaching the section, I surveyed the area to make sure no one was nearby. I mean... because nobody has sex. That would be too embarrassing if anyone knew. Dumb, dumb thought. So, after several minutes, I decided what an idiot I was for caring about being spotted and found the perfect book. All that silly worrying for nothing... because I definitely wasn't discrete after that.
I could NOT stop laughing. Again for you virgin sex bookers, most sex books actually have people..... yes, real people, posing in the positions. It's like a still from a porno. Tacky, wrong, and just... gross. Ummmm.... no thanks. I almost gave up and wondered what the heck I was even doing. I'm supposed to be finding a book about Barbie, or Angelina Ballerina... not Betty No-Name in the flesh doing the dirty disco. Worst parent of the year award over here, please. Yes, yes me- the one in the Sex Ed aisle.
Then I found it. The perfect one. Stick figurines and all. It wasn't raunchy but instead hilarious. It has creative names, (ex.The Chimney Sweep) it lists cautions (ex. Can be sooty) AND also lists the calories burned. All complete with a notes section. You know, for reference later? hahahaha. Good grief.
I mean come one! This thing had winner all over it. It was hysterical and not weird. It wasn't like, "hey baby," but instead a good twist to a common serious matter "between two people that love each other very much." I thought it was perfect.
So perfect..... that it has been tucked away in my bedside cabinet....... and not used. So, that gift was a humorous birthday FAIL. We'd talk about using it, browse through it, and then just die laughing because they were just so ridiculous. Guess I should have seen that coming at Barnes & Nobles, eh?
Moving on.
Present #2. A Fossil Watch
After the first failed birthday gift, I wanted to make sure I got him something meaningful and-- not sexual. I looked and thought for weeks on what I might actually want to give him. So, after much deliberation, I decided on a watch. He didn't own one and I thought it was a pretty safe gift. I mean, what guy doesn't like having a watch?
Well, apparently my husband.
"I just don't like wearing watches." Oh, so... that's why you don't already own one. Another FAIL. I think he has worn it twice.... and that's because I asked. I mean, geeze. That's like asking for a hug. Just doesn't have the same warm, fuzzy effect. 0 for 2. Go me.
and for #3. An "On the Rocks" set.
With fingers crossed and September 26th approaching, I just kept thinking, "third times the charm!" Well, I assume that I finally nailed it because he seemed pretty excited about it. This year I got him a set of Solid Granite Drink Chillers. They are rounded off granite stones that you freeze in the freezer, then add to your drink of choice (scotch, whiskey). It keeps your drink cold without diluting it with ice cubes which leads to a better, longer lasting taste. Josh loves his occasional nightcap so I thought it would be a cool, unique gift choice.
No, really. I literally googled, "cool gifts for him." Who knew google could do so much for you? haha. Hopefully next year I can say that he used it more than twice.
But here is how I suck at life. Yes, I finally am getting there.
Well, my mom offered to watch the girls for us so that he and I could go out and have a nice birthday dinner together. You know, since we never get the chance to have some quality alone time. We get ready, get the girls ready, get the girls dinner on the way to my moms, drop the girls off, decide where we're going, finally pick O'Charleys and no sooner do we get there.... I feel sick.
For those of you just tuning in, I have been ill. (geeze I'm too flipping honest on this thing) Poor birthday boy- I had to repeatedly leave him to take several trips to the bathroom. I felt nauseous, dizzy- just not myself. Sitting at the table I realized I had been taking the OTHER prescription I had been taking before that hadn't been working for me. So, here I was feeling like crap and ruining birthday date night.... all because I'm an idiot who can't seem to read. Awesome.
We order our food- aaaannnnd basically have it boxed as soon as we get it. Hope you liked your cold, to-go Styrofoam boxed dinner babe. Happy Birthday?
Ugh, I suck.
So much for the romantic birthday dinner together. Me, barf-nauseous-bags, ruined the evening. Super. Good thing we never made plans to use the first birthday gift. That would have been sadly ironic.
Looks like we can't win them all. Awesome gift, horrible night. Blah. Here's to next year love! 28 and 4 years later! haha. Love you
xoxo,
Megan
Well, my mom offered to watch the girls for us so that he and I could go out and have a nice birthday dinner together. You know, since we never get the chance to have some quality alone time. We get ready, get the girls ready, get the girls dinner on the way to my moms, drop the girls off, decide where we're going, finally pick O'Charleys and no sooner do we get there.... I feel sick.
For those of you just tuning in, I have been ill. (geeze I'm too flipping honest on this thing) Poor birthday boy- I had to repeatedly leave him to take several trips to the bathroom. I felt nauseous, dizzy- just not myself. Sitting at the table I realized I had been taking the OTHER prescription I had been taking before that hadn't been working for me. So, here I was feeling like crap and ruining birthday date night.... all because I'm an idiot who can't seem to read. Awesome.
We order our food- aaaannnnd basically have it boxed as soon as we get it. Hope you liked your cold, to-go Styrofoam boxed dinner babe. Happy Birthday?
Ugh, I suck.
So much for the romantic birthday dinner together. Me, barf-nauseous-bags, ruined the evening. Super. Good thing we never made plans to use the first birthday gift. That would have been sadly ironic.
Looks like we can't win them all. Awesome gift, horrible night. Blah. Here's to next year love! 28 and 4 years later! haha. Love you
xoxo,
Megan
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